If you have a weak constitution, do not read any further.
I want a hut. A menstrual hut. A place where I can go for 5-7 days out of the month and just be. Now, I wouldn’t want a real grass hut. Oh no. Not this gal. A tricked out hut complete with plumbing, heat and a/c., electricity, and of course, WiFi.
I don’t require much. All the surfaces where I would sit or recline upon would have to be covered in black. I would need a freezer for the chocolate and pints of Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby. Possibly a cupboard for the salt and vinegar potato chips. Oh, and a sacrificial animal–maybe Dick Cheney.
I know, you’re asking yourself, why the sacrificial animal? For this reason:
There’s always some smart-assed person who looks at your purchases of copious amounts of chocolate, caffeine and feminine products and asks, “That time?”
That’s when the animal would come forth and I would stab it repeatedly. Then I would point to the bloody carcass and say, “That was supposed to be you.”
Oh, and for those well meaning people who suggest Midol. i have this to say.
The last thing a woman wants when she is crampy and bleeding is a diuretic that makes her have to urinate every ten minutes.
Yeah, I’m better now. Be back in about six days.
